Silent Screams
by Scorpion29
Summary: Do you believe that Snape is beyond redemption after HBP? Or do you think he is still a good guy? This story is to tell you what REALLY happened and to prove Snape is good. HBP Spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

Ok, I started this story because I decided that obviously J.K. Rowling was off her rocker and needed to have her mistake fixed. WELL I'M FIXING IT! SNAPE IS A GOOD GUY!

Standard disclaimers apply---- HBP SPOILERS

Chapter 1

(Severus)

Albus was dead. The Dark Lord would be pleased, but angry. I blew my cover. Narcissa would be so very grateful, her son was alive. The dark emptiness inside me grew with every thought. Draco and I had escaped from Hogwarts, but the Dark Lord would not be pleased. Draco was the one who was supposed to kill Albus, not I.

_Avada Kedavra_

Two simple words that had so much power. With them I had killed the only person who had believed in me. No one from the Order would ever believe my story. I doubt that if placed in their situation I would believe myself. Next to me Draco sobs on quietly, the horrors he has seen, the things he has done haunt him and he is not yet even eighteen. I know the peace will not last long, the Dark Lord will summon us and we will be forced to answer; if we don't…the consequences will be extreme.

I dare not close my eyes, for if I do, I know that I will be lost. The cold stone wall behind me sucks what little warmth remains in me out. There is no hope for me; I severed all my connections with Albus's death. I may be able to save the boy though. Glancing over at Draco, I remember my first task. I had had to kill someone too.

Don't think about it!

God, what I would give for my Pensieve right now.

"Draco," I whisper hoarsely, startling the blond. He looks up at me with wide, tear-filled grey eyes and I know all he sees is a murderer. What else is there to see? I fulfilled the oath I made with his mother, but I cannot stop there, I have to save him. I can't let him end up like me. I open my mouth to speak again, but a searing pain shoots through my arm. Malfoy whimpers and clutches his arm. I must wait for a better time.

With little difficulty I shove myself up and draw Draco to his feet. He is in no condition to Apparate, so I decide to do it for the both of us. Grasping him closely, I concentrate and take us to hell.

"Severus," our Lord hisses and I bow low, forcing Draco down with me. "Did I not say it was Malfoy who was to kill Dumbledore?" His anger blazed and crashed over me in a wave. It took very little for me to wipe my mind clean and take what was coming.

"Yes My Lord." Excuses did no good, either a yes or no was what he wanted.

"Then why did you disobey my orders?" The quickly gathering Death Eaters were hungry for what was to happen; it had happened to me many times before, but never in front of them. They hated the fact that I seemed to be above reproach. Bellatrix would be bubbling over with happiness at my fall from grace.

"There is no excuse for my behavior and I beg your forgiveness; I should have not acted against your orders." All my words were spoken to the floor. I had to wait for permission to raise my head, and I made sure that Draco was doing what was expected of him.

"Since you seem to think that you should step in and take Malfoy's task then why don't you take his punishment as well?" I can't imagine what is coming. "Or are you above that?"

"I will take whatever punishment you deem I deserve," I tell him softly.

"Take Malfoy away." Draco was taken from my side and I was left to face the congregated Death Eaters who are more than prepared to eat me alive. No one likes the favorite. Wands twirl around me and twisted smiles appear as The Dark Lord tells them to do what they like with me, but I was to be kept alive.

"_Crucio!_" I knew that one was coming, but nothing ever prepares you for the intensity of the pain. It tears through your entire body. The experience of your skin being flayed off your body, while your insides are set on fire is nothing you can ever get used to. The agony always increases, it never lessens. Screams were ripped from me and I knew that if I could form words I would be begging.

"_Levicorpus!" _

Hundreds more flew at me and it all just escalated. I knew it would end eventually, but right now it seemed like it would go on forever. Skin was peeling from my bones, I was swelling, every bone was broken at once and then simultaneously healed. My guts do a macabre dance inside my abdomen. Fingernails slowly tear off. Blood splurts from me. The agony. The pain. It's never-ending. My blood turns to liquid fire and sears me as it's pumped through my veins. Nails are driven into every nook and cranny of my body.

A final curse, which I can barely hear over my own hoarse screams, sends the contents of my stomach shooting out of me before I fall into the peaceful abyss of darkness.

_Homework assignments, useless bits of parchment that meant nothing, but at the same time could crush you. I had stacks of them left to grade. Why did I even give them out if I hated going over them so? Well, one reason would be the little rats wouldn't learn anything and at a time like this they needed to know everything they could. Barely registering the name at the top of the next one, I pick up I mechanically start to go over it, my quill circling and crossing things out. Annoyance builds in me. Why can't the brats take time with their homework! It is part of their end grade! I know that not everyone is a geek like I was in school, but really; a little effort goes a long ways. _

_The fire crackles warmly nearby and I debate whether or not to put it out, I'm no longer in the dungeons. There is no persistent damp to sink into my bones and it is almost the end of term. Flicking my hand at it lazily, I watch it extinguish and realize how much it is like a human life. Anyone can put it out, it takes no effort, but unlike humans, it leaves no guilt in the person who kills it. A quick glance sends a glass and bottle of brandy flying over to me so I can pour myself a glass. Muggles do make the best brandy._

"_DEATH EATERS! DEATH EATERS IN THE CASTLE! SEVERUS! QUICK!" The short, gnome of a Charms professor rushed into my office. Oh no, what has Draco done now? What horrors has he brought upon us? "THEY'RE HERE!" _

"_Where are they Flitwick? Where?" I demanded, shoving myself out of the chair._

"_The Astronomy tower…" he gasped out before keeling over backwards. He never dealt with shock well. A part of me wanted to stay here and pretend I didn't know, but the other snidely reminded me of the Unbreakable Vow I had so rashly made. Rushing out of the room, I ran into Luna and Hermione; what they were doing, skulking around my office I knew not, but they might be able to bring round Flitwick._

"_TAKE CARE OF FLITWICK! I WILL GO FIGHT THE DEATH EATERS!" I bellowed at the two still teens. I never knew my feet could carry me as fast as they did to the Astronomy tower. There were people everywhere, fighting. I didn't take the time to check and see who was injured or not, I had to get to Malfoy before he did something stupid. It seemed to take no time at all to fly up that flight of stairs and there I was, staring down at the one man who had ever helped me, trusted me, loved me. My tears rose in my throat as his voice rasped from him._

"_Severus…" Albus was pleading with me. Oh dear Merlin, I wasn't ready for this! Firmly I kept my façade up and shoved my godson out of the way._

'Severus, I know you don't think you can do this.' _My mentor's voice rang in my head and I nearly cracked, but no one would be able to guess. _'You know what you have to do.'

'Protect the boy, stop Voldmort,'_ I replied not paying attention to the ones who remained. _'But why must it end this way?' _Twisting my features to show disgust, anger, hatred, anything negative, I fought to not give anything away._

"_Severus…please…" _'I am so tired my son. Please…you know what you must do. I need you to do this, I can't exist like this anymore. I am so tired. Please…let me go…' _Shoving anything out of my mind I raise my wand and point it at the defenseless man who has done naught but help me._

"Avada Kedavra!" _Albus's eyes soften. _'Thank you.' _The spell hits him and he flies out into the air and down. _

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Here's the next chapter! Thank you to all my reviewers! You all better love me! Cause I'm swimming in tea and as sick as a dog! The poem was written by me...and um...I hope you like it...

Born2BeInSlytherin- are you? I think I am too! Thanks for the review!

Jinxeh- I'm going to have to track down your story, but at the moment I'm being overwhelmed by homework and meds for my cold. Thank you for your compliment, I am touched that you like it.

Daniel Radcliffe's Angel 10689- YEAH! Another person who's on my side! We are growing in numbers! Slowly but surely! I am trying to convert a few friends you see.

Duj- thank you for the input, I didn't think of that, I now have a good beta, hopefully they won't let me make any more mistakes like that, but if I do feel free to tell me and I'll try to get in and change it!

Like-Snape- Love your name, thanks for the review

Black Triforce- I'm so happy you liked it...I stunned you speechless!

Standard disclaimers apply

Chapter 2

(Severus)

Severus' Journal-

_Stained_

_These hands they are stained_

_Nothing I do can clean them_

_The blood of hundreds taints them_

_Screams of thousands have made me deaf_

_My deeds come back to haunt me_

_There is no one who can save me_

_I have played God with too many lives_

_Faces of unknown men revisit me_

_Husbands, fathers, sons_

_How many have died from my spells?_

_**Too many** shrieks my mind_

_**Not enough** hisses my wand_

_My heart has long since frozen over_

_Ice, they say, runs in my veins_

_It must be true for me to still be standing_

_Comrades have been slaughtered with this instrument_

_Innocent lives ended_

_Flesh shredded to ribbons_

_You think nothing should faze me_

_But this does_

_No one knows_

_But it does_

_-Severus Snape_

_Voices. _

_Sounds. _

_People. _

_Darkness. _

_Time passing. _

_Pain. _

_Helplessness._

X-X

"Severus."

My name was whispered, and gently I was shaken. Dredging up the miniscule amount of reserve energy I had left, I pried open my eyes a scant millimeter. Above me hovered a woman with blond hair and caring eyes. Narcissa. I wanted to say something, but I was barely breathing. Speech was impossible. As if she understood, Narcissa smiled at me and then forced a potion down my throat. My first instinct was to reject it, drive it from my body. It could be poison or something equally bad. Everything blurred at the edges as my eyelid sank shut, and I sank back into oblivion.

X-X

"_I have to go get something, I trust you to watch over him."_

"_How can you ask me to do that, after what he did."_

"_He did only what he had to and I expect you to remember that."_

X-X

"Wake up."

Another command, but I couldn't follow it. I was so tired.

"My Lord, he's still very weak!"

Narcissa? Definitely female.

"I don't care. Severus, wake up!"

It was the Dark Lord. I must show him I am awake. Through some miracle I manage to moan loud enough for him to hear me and know I am not asleep.

"Very good."

A cold finger trails down the side of my face.

"Have you learned your lesson? No more disobeying orders?"

Another moan.

"Good."

X-X

"How are you feeling, Severus?" Narcissa is here again.

"Living." I croak. My mouth is so dry.

"It's August now."

Disbelief courses through me. So much time and I am still invalid? There is so much to do.

"Your body is almost completely healed. I've…I've been drugging you…"

Drugging me? How? Why? With what?

"I couldn't bear you having to go out there not fully healed! I can't lose you too!"

Questions continue to swirl around my mind, but I cannot voice them.

"Mother…" I hear Draco whisper. "You called?"

"Watch, Severus; I have to go do something."

The weight on the right side of the bed lifts, and I hear her exit. A chair is dragged up, and someone sits in it. So much time has flown by. I don't know what is going on in the world. Potter's birthday has passed. He's free to do what he wants, go where he wants. I am no longer safe. I never was safe.

Draco shifts in the chair, and my thoughts turn to him. How am I to help him? '_Albus, why did this have to happen?_'

Guilt washes over me. I am the one who killed you; now I cannot even do what you want me to because of some paltry injuries. How am I to protect anyone? I cannot even raise a finger to save myself. I could be killed right now. Oh, how I wish that's what would happen. The pain of being here, of all my sins is making it even harder to breath.

A whimper makes it past my sealed lips. How many times in the months have I cried out in my sleep? Begged for something? Revealed too much? There was so much in my past that if discovered could destroy so many people. Too many lives I had already ripped to shreds to save my own hide. Well, now I was going to finally going to save someone, I was going to make sure Draco got out of this whole. I must finish what I started. But I must rest before I can do that.

_The tiny part of me that had still contained some light, some happiness was now totally and completely dead. It died with Albus. _

"_Out of here, quickly." I grasp Draco and rush down the steps of the astronomy tower. I must get out of here. I know the others are behind me as I race to get the boy to safety; my life matters not at this point. I faintly hear someone yell out behind me, but I pay no heed. Death Eaters look at me as I sprint past them._

"_It's over, time to go!" My flight with the boy continued without interruption, but I know that Potter is following. The only thing that is running through my mind is that I have to get off the property so I can Disapparate; I have to get out of here. The gate, if we could just make it to the gate. The distance was fast closing, and I was certain we would make it. I knew we could._

"Stupefy!" _Damn! It was Potter! Why did he have to intervene now? Couldn't he see there were bigger things at work?_

"_Run, Draco!" My godson stared at me a moment, fear and something else in them. Thankfully he didn't question but ran._

"Cruc—" _Harry began, but instinctively I parried and sent him flying backwards as one of the others set Hagrid's house on fire. I barely registered him shouting something about his dog._

"Cruc—" _He tried again, but I stopped him a sneer twisting at my lips for bravado. I couldn't let façade fall, even though half of it was show. I had hated his father with a great passion and some of that carried to him, but it had faded quickly. Leaving me to pretend. _

"_No Unforgivable Curses from you, Potter!" I shouted, not letting the background noise distract me. "You haven't got the nerve or the ability_—_"_

"Incarc—" _Harry bellowed but I blocked him easily, how could he make it so easily? He wasn't focusing! Albus had known how weak he was, why hadn't he trained him better? "Fight back! Fight back, you cowardly_—_"_

"_Coward, did you call me, Potter?" I rose to his childish name-calling. I couldn't help it; his taunt hit a shallowly buried nerve. After all the things I have done, to help him and everyone else he called me a coward. Typical. "Your father would never attack me unless it was four on one, what would you call him, I wonder?"_

"Stupe—"

"_Blocked again and again and again until you learn to keep your mouth shut and your mind closed, Potter!" _

_Even though he was trying to kill me and I was dubbed his enemy I couldn't help but give him sneering instructions that would help him. If only the dunderhead would listen for once in his pathetic life. "Now _come!" _I motioned to the other and turned to leave. "It is time to be gone, before the Ministry turns up -- "_

"Impedi-- " _Potter started, but before I could cut him off, one of the others used the Crutiasus curse on the young boy. His screams rent the air, tearing at my insides. I may have hated him, but he was the only one who could kill the Dark Lord and no one deserved that agony. I had experienced that kind of terrible pain too much in my life and I couldn't have another innocent ripped to shreds. The curse was a horrendous, blinding, wrenching pain that poured through you like lava. It was something I wouldn't have happen to any child. _

"_No!" I bellowed at him, startling the dunce into stopping. "Have you forgotten our orders? Potter belongs to the Dark Lord – we are to leave him! Go! Go!" _

_As I ordered the rest to retreat, I stayed behind to make sure we weren't attacked. My gaze landed on Potter who was struggling up and towards me._

"Sectum – " _Unbidden rage poured through me like a boiling potion, lighting my veins on fire as I blocked his attempt. Reaching out, I touched his mind to find he was about to utilize another one of _MY_ spells. _

"_No, Potter!" I roared, flinging a spell at him. He flew backwards and landed with a satisfying thud, and his wand disappeared into the night. Stalking forward, I loomed over him, my wrath palpable. I could forgive some things, but this wasn't one of them, he was acting like his father._

"_You dare use me own spells against me, Potter?" I demanded, the spells I had created to defend myself from his horrid father. "It was I who invented them – I, the Half-Blood Prince! And you'd turn my inventions on me, like your filthy father, would you? I don't think so…no!" _

_The ingrate had lunged for his wand, and I was forced to hex it away from him as my anger built higher and higher._

"_Kill me then," the little twit gasped. "Kill me like you killed him, you coward –" "DON'T –" I screamed at him as the knife that I had buried in my own heart twisted; he was right but at the same time wrong. There was no way he could have done such a thing. If he had been handed the duty by Dumbledore to kill him, he would not have been able to do it. And he condemned me for doing what the old man wanted? "CALL ME A COWARD!" My rage got the best of me, and I hit Potter with a hex as I whipped around to leave, but that beast of a Hippogriff attacked me screeching loudly. Not bothering to even try to kill it, I fled off the school property and Disapparated. _

"Snape." Someone shook me and I slowly peeled open my eyes, dragging myself away from the terrible memories. Draco's face hovers over me, concern etched in it even though he hates me for killing Dumbledore, even though he, himself was supposed to do it. Trust my godson to think like that. His whole life I have watched him, protected him, and now he denounces me for saving him. I feel the withered heart within me twist. He looks so tired, defeated even. It's easy for me to see that he's lost weight and is even skinnier than normal.

"Water," I whisper through parched lips, and the boy reacts as if stung. Quickly, he brings me a cup of water, and, greedily, I gulp it down. He retreats back to the chair on the opposite side of the room as I drag my body into a sitting position. The blankets are tangled about my waist and, belatedly, I realize that I have no shirt on, leaving my scarred chest in full view. There are multitudes of small insignificant ones, a couple medium sized ones and a few large.

"Do you see these scars, Draco?" I ask, not even bothering to wait for him to answer me. "They are the map of my life. Each and every one tells a story, and I don't think one of them is good. When I joined the Death Eaters, my body was for the most part unmarred, now look at it." Drawing a deep breath I am surprised when the action isn't met with pain.

"Why did you join?" Draco's voice was so low I barely discerned what he said.

"I joined for many reasons, none of them good." I let my eyes flutter shut as I shook my head. "I wanted to belong, I wanted to be able to get back at someone, and I wanted to fill the loneliness left by another's death."

My fingers lightly traced some of my older scars that were faded, but still easily seen. "These are from the initiation into their society."

"Why do you think my dad joined?" I knew the real reason, and it was worse than as any of mine. I didn't want him to realize how bad his father was. I couldn't stand for him to hurt any more, he was like the son I never had.

"I don't really know; your father is a very complex man," I hedged the question quite elegantly in my opinion. "He was never one for giving away a lot of information to any one person."

"At times I don't think he cares about anyone."

Draco was speaking more to himself than to me, and I knew he just needed to get it off his chest.

"He always cared more about appearances than how Mum and I felt. She loves him so much, but sometimes I wonder if he even gives a damn."

Anger shook his voice and my heart went out to him. It was like a milder version of my childhood repeating itself right before my eyes. I could see myself inside Draco, a young man longing for a loving family, but never getting what he wanted.

Don't worry, Draco; I will be there for you. I will save you.

This, I promise.

* * *

So? Good? Horrible? TELL ME! I'm dying to know! 


	3. Chapter 3

Hey Everybody! Sorry it took a bit to get the chappie up! My beta was a little slow, had some other work to do!

Excessivelyperky: I'm so glad you liked it, I didn't think about that. Hmmm maybe I need to have AD's portrait come into play, as soon as I read it an idea popped into my head about how to do that. So thanks!

Barb8: I know, I always feel bad for poor Sevvy, he became my fav and know I can't boot him out of my heart.

Kate: I so know what you mean! It's like HELLO! Snape has so much potential and then you go and ruin him! That's why I'm fixing it right here, right now. I'm going to convert all non-believers! (Is suddenly bludgeoned to death by my sister who hates Snape).

Black Triforce: As I said, sorry it took a little bit, hope you like this chappie

Duj: It was my own poem

Born2BeInSlytherin: I'm glad I have caught your attention, please...read on!

Standard disclaimers apply

Chapter 3

(Severus)

It was a wonderful thing to be able to stand on your own feet. In front of me, Draco sat on top of a short wall. His blond hair was longer than it had been at school; he was now able to club it back in a short ponytail. The lack of hair about his face brought out the sharp contours that had appeared in the past year. He was watching me, his silver gaze steady as he easily twirled his wand between his fingers.

"The Dark Lord gave me very specific instructions on how to train you, Draco," I reminded him as I fingered my own wand. "As you may well be aware of, I have dabbled in Occlumency and am rather decent at it." I said little as there was no need to brag about how good I really was..

"Yeah?"

"Yes," I responded. "Though the Dark Lord has not specified my teaching you this art, I do believe that it will be of great use to you in the future. Do you know what Occlumency is?"

"The opposite of Legilimency," Draco answered. Over the month Draco and I had come to a truce, one might say. He asked nothing of me, and I did the same. We merely existed together. The close relationship that had been between us before his father had been taken was gone for good. I was no longer seen as his eyes as his infallible Godfather, but instead a murderer who was assigned to teach him the tricks of the trade.

"In short, yes, it's the ability to mask your true thoughts and feelings by shutting them off." I was reluctant to use the same examples I had with Potter. Obviously, what I had said had not impressed upon Potter the importance of Occlumency and the dangers of Legilimency. "It allows the one using it to cover up lies and guard secrets."

"How will this be useful?" Draco questioned, but I could already see the seed was planted in his mind. The idea of how this new-found power could assist him, how it might have helped me.

"In many different ways, powerful Wizards like the Dark Lord and the former headmaster of Hogwarts are usually strong Legilimens and can sift through your thoughts with ease. With Occlumency you will be protected, it will make you less vulnerable and empower you." I waited until he nodded and slipped off the wall to rest in front of me.

The past month had changed him in more ways than looks. His eyes no longer held the glimmer of innocence that had once possessed. He was quieter and more thoughtful about what he said, how he said it, and to whom it was directed. Like many of the other Death Eaters, he no longer made sound when he walked, and he was constantly aware of his surroundings. The way he carried himself was different as well; he no longer swaggered, but instead moved in a manner that conserved energy and made him less noticeable.

"I am going to attempt to break into your thoughts, what you need to do is repel me with your mind." I instructed as I drew my wand up. "On the count of three…one – two – three – _Legilimens_!"

There was a slight resistance, but not much as I pushed my way into Draco's mind. Flashes of his past surfaced, begging to be acknowledged.

"_I cannot believe that you allow a Mudblood to best you in everything!" _Lucius' voice boomed, and I received a glimpse of a face twisted by disappointment.

"_I can't do this! Oh, God, why do I have to do this?" Malfoy gasped from the corner of a grimy bathroom. "He'll kill me!" _

"_Your father's been taken, Draco." _

"Expelliarmus!_" Someone yelled_.

Abruptly my wand snapped out of my hand, and I was flung backwards.

"Did you mean to disarm me?" I demanded as I got back to my feet and retrieved my wand.

"Yes and no," Draco answered. "I wanted you to stop, so I tried to repel you."

"You need to wipe your mind clean of any emotion," I told him. "No emotions, no thoughts. You have to be in control. Get ready. _Legilimens_!"

X-X-X-X-X

"How is Draco doing?" Narcissa questioned me. I was sitting in the study, looking over some texts I had discovered.

"He's doing very well." I flipped a page in one of the books. "He strives very hard to be as good as his father." Narcissa nodded her head, her eyes sad as she thought about her beloved husband who had, last week, been condemned to death for numerous crimes. I had known Lucius since childhood. I don't think I could count him as a friend, but he was someone had always been there. The Dark Lord had yet to give any hint of a plan to save Lucius, and I don't think he will try to save him. He was still very angry with the mistake that the fool had made, if he had only been more conscientious of what he had been doing…

"Well, I'll leave you be." Narcissa stood up and made to leave, turning to say one more thing. "Thank you, Severus, thank you so much."

When she was out of sight, I looked up from the words on the page before me to gaze at the wall. All that I could teach Draco in the short period of time allotted to me I had done. Tomorrow he would go before the Dark Lord to be judged. Tomorrow would define everything that was to come.

X-X-X-X-X

"Congratulations," I said softly to Draco who was sitting in front of me, a drink in hand. "You passed the test."

He said nothing as he sipped his drink and watched me. It was slightly disconcerting to have those piercing silver eyes focused on just you. It was easy to tell from his facial expression, or lack there of, that he was debating whether or not to ask me something. It was in the way his left eyebrow was barely furrowed and his lips ever so slightly compressed.

"How did you become a spy for the Dark Lord?" He finally asked and I observed how he set down the cup, the sound of it rang with the tones of finality. His hands folded in his lap; he was fingering the wooden length of his wand. He was waiting for my answer and ready to get rid of the evidence of it.

"He noticed my aptitude for blending and staying quiet," I told him. "I don't think you'd make a good spy; you're too noticeable." He was very good at hiding his emotions, but for me, one who had been with him his whole life, it was easy to see he was angry.

"Do you think so?" He was too casual; it was easy to look right through him.

"That is, unless you were thinking of being a spy for the Order of the Phoenix," I stated this and watched the shock and surprise flit through his eyes. Ahh, my little charge really was going to follow in my shoes. Taking each step into a world that no one else can ever understand. A place where you are alone, where there is only one person you can trust. You.

"You suggest treason," Draco deflected me coolly and if I had been anyone else, I would have been fooled. "Even speaking of it is enough to earn you death."

"Death is a reprieve from such a burden as spying," I remarked casually. "Spying is fraught with danger, betrayal and trauma, especially when you're double agent."

"Must be nice to finally be where you belong." He shrugged nonchalantly as he took a sip from his glass, making sure to keep one hand hidden in the folds of his robes.

"Don't you mean back here in the enemy's lair, do you?" I drawled and Draco twitched slightly, the only clue that he had been taken by surprise.

"You were a spy for the other side?" He demanded rather harshly, and his eyes revealed he was sorry for the slip-up. "I could turn you in for this."

"So you would become infallible and turn around and help Potter?" I arched an eyebrow as I set my cup down. "It's a sound plan, but what remains to be seen is if the Dark Lord will believe you and if the Order will accept you. I have been here much longer than you, and there is a much better way to go about this."

"Like what?" Draco scoffed and I felt rather than saw his fingers, convulsively grip around his wand.

"I am no longer trusted by the Order so it would be best if we got another person in there as soon as possible. They will be running very low on information; you will be the emissary and I will get the information." I stared right into his eyes as I said this and picked up every thought that crossed his mind about it to make sure I was doing the right thing. Not a single traitorous thought crossed his mind; he was against the Death Eaters completely, he didn't want to have to kill anyone, and he hoped I wasn't trying to trick him.

"How could it work?" Draco asked suspiciously.

"You need to get in contact with them, and then you need to give them a valuable piece of information," I explained.

"What kind of information?"

"Before I tell you that, you must make a blood compact; you must swear to tell no one."

I drew from my robes a decorated knife.

"Fine."

"Do you take this oath to not reveal what has passed here? To keep hidden in your heart all that I have said to you and will help you do? Will you not tell of any of it unless it is to the Order of the Phoenix and then you shall not mention me?"

"I swear this on my blood."

Draco slashed his palm.

"Do you swear to not reveal me to my enemies and to help me aid the opposite side?"

"I do swear so on my blood."

I cut open my palm.

We placed out bleeding palms together and uttered the spell to bind us.

"_Dumbledore, I need to speak with you." I approached the be-whiskered man who was sitting behind his desk._

"_What is it, Severus?" He looked at me and it didn't get past me that his blue eyes were serious, their usual twinkle gone. _

"_First you must swear to not tell anyone about what I am going to say." I held myself with as much pride as I could, unblinking and ready to fight._

"_Of course, Severus," Dumbledore assured me; his tone was weary and I knew he was fighting a very hard battle._

"_You probably already know that I'm a Death Eater--" I began._

"_Oh Severus," he sighed, and I felt the band of guilt around my heart tighten._

"_And I want to right that wrong, the only way I can think to do such is to offer my services as a spy to you." I waited for some sound of disbelief or a rejection._

"_Are you sure you want to do this?" Dumbledore asked. "It's a hard and straining job; you will be forced to make decisions that will affect every aspect of your life."_

"_I am positive, I have someone – and I want to do this for them. They deserve a good person, not someone who's in league with evil," I told him._

"_Then, I do believe we need your services," Dumbledore accepted my offer and a small smile that lacked any happiness turned up the edges of his mouth._

"_I meant what I said Dumbledore; this must be spoken of to no one. Not even those who are on our side, no one can ever know of this meeting."_

"_I have given my word that is all you need."_

"So young, so foolish," I muttered later on that night as I sat in front of the fire. That is what I had been, unknowing of the horrendous future that I was to bear, unknowing of all the mistakes I would make. Indeed, the only thing that I had been certain of at that time was that I had wanted to show that someone, that there was something good in me.

That had been before Potter re-entered my life.

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	4. Chapter 4

Ok, before all of you kill me I just want you to know that the reason it took me so long to get this chapter up was because I was doing NaNoWriMo, sorry peeps. I solemnly promise that this story will be done before the end of the summer and...it will kick ass. Another thing, this is the last time I will reply to your reviews in the chapters, I will from here on use the little things they give you and reply just to you.

Dui: ok, when you start teaching someone something, or you start refreshing something, you always start with the basics, no matter how many times the person has done it. It's like in math, when you go from tenth to eleventh, they teach you the same things, starting with the basics and getting just a little bit more complicated.

CareBearErin: I'm trying really hard on the relationships in this thing, I'm trying not to take it too fast, but to kick back and plan it out. I'll let you in on a secret...I have the entire story planned out...! But when you think about it, if you did something, would you want to have to keep explaining why you did to so many people when it hurts to do such?

Black Triforce: is it a good or bad thing that you find it hard to describe why you like it? starts to panic

ShadowAngel26: I'm glad you love it babe, sorry but no, not the pairing you want...trying to stick to the cannon...maybe in another

Excessively perky: glad you liked it, and that's what I thought, Draco will be able to do the work now, Snape can take a load off and relax...or can he?

Chapter 4

(Draco)

Sitting in the crowded pub, I felt extremely vulnerable and exposed. What was I to do if I was caught? What if a Death Eater saw me? The second was highly improbable seeing as how I was in a Muggle pub, but whoever said that anyone ever thought rationally at times like these? Potter and his gang were coming to collect me, so I could try to negotiate becoming one of their spies. I knew not how many they had. What if they decided to just off me because I had been ordered to kill Dumbledore, even though I hadn't?

My mind was whirling with all of the questions that I was worrying over, and there were still so many more. The beer in front of me was untouched, but I really couldn't come into a pub, sit in the corner and not have anything, not without drawing unnecessary attention to myself, hence the drink. I had dressed in comfortable Muggle clothing that I had bought a week ago in preparation. Unlike other Wizards, I knew how to match my clothing; I had a pair of black jeans on with a black belt that had a silver snake with emeralds for eyes as the buckle. A turtleneck sufficiently covered my arms to hide my mark, and I had over that a black jean jacket.

The door opened, and my eyes snapped to it; three people stumbled in laughing raucously as they made their way to the bar. One of them was a busty female who was wearing an outrageously skimpy outfit; another was a skinny young man who was wearing wire-framed glasses and close fitting clothes, the last was a tall man with blond hair and he was on crutches, a cast around one of his legs.

Shaking my head minutely, I swirled some of my drink around in the glass; it was a nice bit of magic they had done on themselves, but I still knew it was them. The air shifted slightly when they came in, announcing the magic being used. One of them was using Glamour, and all three of them had a spell on, the type used on magical buildings to make Muggles not look at them too closely. After getting drinks they joked a few more minutes, making fun of the one on the crutches, saying he shouldn't be drinking when he was on medication. I waited.

"Hey! Mate!" The woman plopped down next to me and I was flashed a high voltage smile that made my stomach want to reject its contents. The other two slid into the booth across from me. The skinny one was Potter; somehow he had covered up his scar, the female was Tonks, and the one on the crutches was Moody, trying to hide his limp. I gave them all a cool smile.

"Where are we going?" I queried, and Harry's eyes glittered at me from behind his new glasses.

"Nowhere that you need to know of," he replied as Moody howled over some joke that Tonks had cracked. "In a moment or two, we are going to get up and leave; you will come with us. Any funny business and you're dead." Calmly I nodded to show my agreement.

True to their word, we stood up not too much later and exited the building; I was led down an alley where they blindfolded me. A few spells were muttered, most likely to rid them of their disguises, and then I was grasped tightly by my upper arms and transported somewhere. Wherever I landed, there was some old hag screaming and yelling. Hissed curses were spat out, and I was hauled off to somewhere else. Locks turned, and I was shoved down into a chair. The blindfold was ripped away.

In front of me was Potter, Tonks, Moody and Weasley's father. All of them were glaring at me, and I strengthened my mental defenses just a little. I didn't know if any of them knew Legilimency, but it wouldn't do to have them rifling through my mind if any of them did.

"So, Malfoy, you want to become a spy," Moody growled, and I looked at him; he had dropped his façade, and I was able to see him at his ugliest. Fear was beating at me, but I refused to let it show through; if I wanted to convince them that I could do this, I had to act tough.

"Yes," I answered his statement. I made sure to breathe easily and keep my heart rate normal. There were more ways then just magic to tell if someone was lying or scared; those would be your breathing, heart rate, whether or not you are sweating, the steadiness of your limbs and eye movement.

"You are going to have to answer a few questions," Weasley said and I nodded, I wasn't stupid. "Under the influence of Veritaserum."

"Obviously," I told them, and a cup of water was pressed into my hand. Here was the test; how well I could dance around their questions, saying the truth, but not telling too much. Snape had built up immunity to all truth potions and poisons; there hadn't been enough time for me to get started. Without any hesitation I threw back the drink and waited for it to kick in.

"Why are you doing this?" Tonks demanded, and instantly I felt an extremely strong impulse to just spill all of my guts, to tell of the horror that had gripped me when I saw Dumbledore die, speak of the unrelenting fear and hysteria that had controlled me through my entire sixth year. I reigned it all in and forced myself to be short and sweet.

"I realized almost as soon as I had joined the Death Eaters that it was the wrong thing to do," I revealed carefully. "During my year at Hogwarts it became even clearer to me until finally I decided that I needed to do something to redeem myself. I settled on becoming a spy because I know that there is a great need for them, and since I am a new member, I won't be paid too much mind. People will talk in front of me unthinkingly."

"Why should we trust you?" Potter snapped. "How do we know you won't just turn around and hand us in?"

"What do I have to gain from that?" I shot back, my eyes burning into his emerald green depths. "There is truly nothing that the Dark Lord can give me; my father has already been executed, nothing can bring him back, and it is not as though I can just go back to Hogwarts and whistle a happy tune, Potter."

"Though you say you can help us, how do we know that you have any useful information?" Moody spoke up, and I turned to make eye contact with him.

"I have my uses; I have already proven myself to the Dark Lord and as you know, Snape is my Godfather; he speaks a great deal around me, as does my Aunt Bellatrix. Since I am a Death Eater, I am allowed in on the meetings, so I know what everyone else knows." I squashed the urge to start pacing or rub my hands on my pants.

"Do you have anything to barter with now?" Moody was advancing and I had to use all of my willpower to stay in place. Ever since the man had turned me into a ferret in my fourth year I had been petrified of him. He intimidated me terribly, but I could not let that show. I kept my thoughts blank as I nodded slowly.

"I know when and where the next raid will occur, who they are targeting and who will be leading it." I felt rather than saw Harry make a movement of disbelief.

"Will you be telling us any time soon?" Weasley joined in again, and I inclined my head.

"I first need to know whether or not you will be having me. I don't want to place my life in jeopardy unless I know it will be recognized by the Order." I shrugged casually. "I don't mean that I want to be treated as a hero; I know that if I am caught, you won't do anything to set me free, but I want to know I will be brought in before I tell all."

"That's not how it works, you tell us and then we decide." Snape had said this was what would happen. Not letting anything show on my face, I made another noncommittal movement.

"They are going to be attacking the branch in the United States; they decided that because some people believe that if we win here it won't matter anywhere else, they are going to do a showing of power." I gave them part of what Snape had provided me with.

"Which one? There are a few over there," Tonks questioned and I sighed.

"They are targeting the main one, underneath the city of Washington D.C.; it's right underneath the small underground that the Muggles have that connect their government buildings. There is a small murmur of Muggle torturing that might happen afterwards, maybe a massacre or an assassination of the president. Macnair has been put in charge of it." I gave them the rest of my information and they looked at each other worriedly.

"When will this be happening?" Potter asked, his tone harsh, and I had to tamp down hard on the urge to give him a severely rude hand gesture.

"Two weeks exactly, they are planning on sending over some giants and Dementors."

I watched their faces as they digested this.

"Hell," Moody muttered. "Those damn Americans are so proud, there's no way that they'll accept any help."

"Wasn't Dumbledore friends with one of the headmasters over there?" Weasley asked and Moody nodded. "I think it was Maurice Augustine, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, he's a levelheaded chap," Moody replied. "Wife is a Selkie I do believe; maybe she'll be able to help us get some support from the water."

"We'll be back, don't you go anywhere," Tonks ordered, and I watched them leave. Sighing, I stood up and moved about the room; there was not much to look at, an unmade bed, a rickety chair and a Pensive. Withdrawing my wand I prodded the silver liquid, and the memories swirled to life beneath them. From the bowl a figure emerged from the bowl to stand on the surface, a tiny Snape. He looked much younger, and it was most disconcerting to see him as an adolescent.

"_Why is he so mad, Mommy?" _A childlike voice questioned. _"What did I do wrong?"_ Stirring them again with my wand it slipped in a little too far, and I cursed as I was dragged into the Pensive that could only be Snape's.

X-X

I landed in the Owlry; it was the middle of winter, and it was absolutely freezing. I could spot no one, and I knew that had to be wrong, because if it was really my mentor's Pensive, he was supposed to be in the memory. Suddenly to my right three people appeared, one looked exactly like Potter, but his eyes were the wrong color, next to him were a younger looking Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin.

"Damn," the person who I assumed was Potter's father swore.

"I could have sworn Snivellus came up here," Black sighed in frustration. "I just learned a really good hex I wanted to use on him too."

"You guys should really leave him alone," Lupin spoke up, and Potter and Black barked with laughter at the thought.

"Please, Moony, you're killing me," Potter chuckled. "That grease bucket has no other reason to exist other than be tormented, it's his purpose."

"That and suck up to Malfoy," Black interjected, and Potter agreed.

"It's cold, why don't we head back to the Great Hall; we've been up here for a good hour!" Pettigrew whined, and the others were forced to concur and followed him out of the tower. Lounging against the wall I scowled at the ground. I wanted out, but I was unsure of the spell to get me out of here, and I knew that if I waited it out, the memory would end by itself, and I would be transported out.

The sound of someone retching caused me to snap my gaze to the side where Snape appeared. He was as white as the snow on the floor and shaking hard. Incrementally he sat back on his haunches and then leaned back against the wall. Swiping at his mouth with a trembling hand, I noted the blue tinge around his lips and the potion stains on his fingers. His robes were worn and patched, most likely not very warm and if he had been up here for an hour, it was a sure thing he was almost on the verge of hypothermia.

"I have to find a better way," he muttered under his breath as he cleaned his hands with a wave of his wand. Another flick cleaned up the vomit except for a small bright green stone in the middle. "I can't use this too much, its properties are too acidic, it'll either eat holes in my stomach, or my esophagus from bringing it back up so many time or the poison will kill me." Wearily he pocketed it and heaved himself to his feet.

Slowly shuffling toward the door, he began whispering how to make Veritaserum under his breath. Confused I made to follow him, but I didn't have far to walk, because he doubled over in pain and barfed again. Only this time, it wasn't food or stones that came up. It was blood and a thick sort of goo. His body was wracked with convulsions as he stopped bringing anything else and just experienced dry heaves. His face was contorted in agony and when he eventually stopped, he collapsed onto the ice cold floor. Two tears traced down his cheeks before he lapsed into unconsciousness, and I was pulled out.

X-X

Stumbling backwards away from the Pensive, I regarded it with a new respect. It put many things into a different light. Turning from it, I returned to my seat and was just about to submerge myself into some deep thinking when the Order returned.

"You're in, but you're on probation. If this thing in America doesn't pan out and it seems like you told someone, you're dead. Got it?" Moody growled and I nodded. "Good. You'll hear from us when you're needed."

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	5. Chapter 5

THANKS A TON!

Standard disclaimers apply

Chapter 5

(Snape)

Slipping through the house I knew I had limited time; while everyone was out, there was still the possibility of them coming back. Draco had been awfully quiet lately, and I was getting suspicious of what had happened when he had come here. What had been told to him or what he had seen? Soundlessly opening a door I glided in and looked at everything that was there: a bed, a chair, clothes strewn around…my Pensive. A hiss of anger escaped me, and I glanced around the room to make sure no one had been there to hear it.

How dare they steal my Pensive! There were things in there that were far more personal than they could ever imagine; how much of it had they already picked through? How much of my personal humiliation had they witnessed and laughed over? My stomach churned and I winced; I had to hurry. The stone only worked for so long, before death resulted.

Turning I was about to leave, when the House Elf Kreacher came in. I froze, knowing that the little buggers could sense magic better than any normal wizard.

He was in a terrible mood as usual and was talking to himself. He spoke of how much he hated having to serve Potter, and how his precious mistress must be turning over in her grave, knowing that a mix-blood brat was in charge of her household. He bemoaned how the people had ruined the house, took away all of his things. What really caught my attention was when he started in about Mundungus. He was nearly spitting as he recalled that the man had stolen the one thing he was supposed to be guarding for his mistress' son.

Regulus. That kid. Black's younger brother. The one who had run from the Death Eaters. He had spoken to me about his plans, but it had been so long ago. Narrowing my eyes I silently urged the twisted slave to leave. Dumping something underneath the bed, the House Elf skulked out.

Quickly I strode over to my Pensive and stirred it with the tip of my wand. It was easy for me to sort through my own memories because I was the one who had stored them, anyone else who picked through them would not understand the way in which they were organized. Selecting a long ago event, I brought it to the surface and entered.

I landed in a cold, dark hallway of the old headquarters for the Dark Lord. There was a younger me, leaning against the wall, my mind very far away. Curling my lip in distain I wondered at how stupid I had been, so completely wrapped up in myself; I had actually thought I could pull it off, live another life separate from all the espionage I did.

My other self suddenly perked up and swung his arm out perpendicular to his body. It connected with something, or more correctly, someone, who, in turn collapsed to the floor. Smirking he knelt down and whipped off the invisibility cloak that had been hiding the other man.

"Well, well, well," my younger self drawled as Regulus was revealed to me. "Looks like I found something."

"_Silen-_" the boy began but his wand was already being pocketed by me.

"What is it I wonder that was going through your thick skull when you thought that you could leave without anyone realizing?" Regulus opened his mouth to answer, but was overridden. "Oh, that's right, Black's don't think! How could I have forgotten?"

"Snape," the kid hissed. "I have to get out of here!"

"Why should I let you?" I remember what had been going through my head. I had two choices, I could turn him in to gain more respect from the Dark Lord, or I could glean from him information for the Order.

"The Dark Lord," Regulus muttered. "I know it, I can do it..."

"You know what?" I watched as Regulus was shaken hard. "What do you know?"

"His secret! I am the only one!" Regulus had never been a very brave person, if I ever had to compare him to someone else, I would say that he was like Pettigrew, except that he at one point had charisma.

"What secret?" I watched myself hiss in his face.

"The locket, it's the only one I know about, I have to get to it, destroy it before he gets me!" Regulus was on the verge of breakdown; he wasn't one to go against the grain. That had been his brother. While Black had been in Gryffindor and had left his birth home as soon as possible, Regulus had stayed. He had been at his mother's beck and call, and he had told me the night he joined that she was forever proud of him for it.

"What is the locket?" I stepped closer as I observed the interrogation.

"Him, the locket is his immortality!" Regulus said excitedly. "He will fall, and he will know it was because of me!" In the distance someone called my name, and the Pensive me shoved Regulus away and handed him his cloak.

"Run as fast as your pureblood legs can carry you, if you're caught and I'm connected, I swear I'll kill you!" The kid was already under the cloak and moving away at top speed.

Having all that I needed I exited the Pensive and stood there for a moment. Everything inside me screamed at me to take it with me, but I knew that if I did, they would figure out that someone had been there. Instead I picked up the Pensive and placed it in the bottom of the inhabitant's closet. Carefully I placed a spell upon it that was very common for House Elves to use to protect their things, along with one to make it blend. I wanted my memories safe.

"Harry!" The door was flung open, and I slid my wand back into my pocket. While the stone was able to conceal my clothes, it was unable to do it for my wand.

"Harry, are you here?" It was the Granger girl. I was surprised at how she'd changed. She looked more like a woman than a girl, and she was headed for me.

"He's such a slob!" she growled, scooping up an armful of clothes and dumped them on the Pensive, before closing the door. "He should be back by now; he really needs to stop going off an brooding whenever he feels like it." She sighed and headed for the door. "He said he had to talk to me about something, but how are we to talk when he's never _here_!"

When I was sure she was gone, I left the house undetected, just as I had entered and Apparated back to my home. I landed in the middle of my living room and found Draco reading a book. He looked up when he heard the noise of my arrival, but soon went back to the text because he assumed that no one was there. Impatience rose in me, he was ignoring a direct threat. Raising my hand I silently uttered the spell that would tie him up, but Draco was already up with his wand drawn.

That was _my _student. I thought smugly, as I blocked multiple curses he sent my way. Pain flashed through me and I cringed, but I threw up a magical wall to stave off anything else sent my way. I was out of the room by the time Draco had destroyed that protective measure, the insistent pain that I had ignored burning through me, doubled intensity. I had to use the walls for support in order to make it to my room.

Collapsing on the floor, I whispered the spell to bring up the contents of my stomach. Fiery agony seared up as I forced the parasitic element from my body. Immediately I was able to see my hands which were braced against the floor, but that didn't mean that I was done. My body had still to rid itself of the byproducts and many toxins of the stone.

Sweat poured from my every pore, as it pushed out the waste that had oozed from them earlier to coat my body and turn me invisible. I could feel my stomach filling with blood and the fast solidifying poison. It wasn't long before I vomited again, and then again. When the heaving finally desisted, I summoned a glass to my side and filled it with water. Slowly I drained the cup, careful not to drink it all at once, because it would just make me throw up again.

Dragging my drained carcass over to the wall, I slumped against it and banished everything, but the stone. Summoning it to myself, I cradled it in my palm, remembering all the times I had used it. It was something called a Death Stone. I had discovered how to make it in my second year and had been both extremely grateful and terrified. The stone itself was really mercury that had been through magic turned into a solid and then was soaked in a potion. The potion was made up of a blending of nightshade, foxglove, hemlock, curare, aconite and a few other plants. All in all, it's one of the worst poisons known to the Wizarding community.

Mercury, the liquid metal that even at room temperature gave off deadly vapors that if inhaled could kill. The scientific symbol for it is Hg, which is from the Latin word _hydrargyrum_ that means liquid silver. The potion has mostly poisonous plants in it, and, if not properly mixed, will kill instead of turn the user invisible. When kept inside the body for long periods of time, it will lead to death. In the potion is a curious fungi that attaches itself to anything; this allows the stone to slowly become part of one's stomach lining.

When the stone interacts with the stomach acids, it releases a compound that goes straight to the pores and turns everything it touches invisible, as long as the stone is still feeding off the stomach. The reason that blood is vomited after the stone is rejected is because it was just ripped out of the lining of the stomach, which obviously results in bleeding. What really causes the next wave of vomiting is the fact that the blood mixed with the acid draws the poison that has been slowly invading the system back into the stomach and causes the user to barf.

Dangerous. Extremely dangerous. I cannot count the amount of times the stone has almost killed me. Though it does have its uses, besides turning the user invisible it also can hide your presence, and unlike an invisibility cloak, it cannot be whipped off to reveal its master. I had first used in my third year, when the bullying had become unbearable, and I hadn't had enough money to buy a cloak like Potter's.

Sighing I cast the spell needed to keep the mercury solid and the vapors contained. I needed to find Mundungus and I had to find that damn locket if Regulus hadn't destroyed it yet.

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	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for being so patient! All I have to say for this one being late is...JUNIOR YEAR SUCKS! Thanks again and enjoy

Standard Disclaimers Apply

Chapter 6

(Severus)

"Do you understand?" I demanded of my young charge. Draco was standing in front of me; it was a few days after the raid in America and the Order wanted to talk to him about his next assignment. I had just given him information on a person who supplied the Death Eaters.

"Yes," Draco responded. His silver eyes were flat and emotionless; he was ready to go in and do what was right.

"I have to go do something today. If it works out, I'll have something for them, but to be on the safe side, don't count on it," I told him.

"Ok," Draco affirmed before he Apparated to the designated location, where he would be picked up from and taken to the hide out.

Turning on my heel, I strode into my workroom and extracted a container of Polyjuice potion that I had been saving for a while. From the bottom of my closet, I withdrew a pale blue set of robes that would be much too small for my frame, but with the help of the nail clippings I had deposited in the potion, they would soon fit perfectly. The last thing I collected before I left was an old messenger bag that I stuffed the blue robes into and a purse full of money.

After I flooed to Diagon Alley I slipped into the bathroom where I drank down the potion. By now I was so used to using potions like this that the usually extremely painful or disturbing effects of the potion didn't bother me. Not the cracking of bones, or the pain of losing organs and growing new ones. It was completely normal for, which was a little disturbing if one thought about it too long.

Once I was fully female, I shed my now oversized robes and dressed myself in the frivolous robes. Bracing myself I looked into the mirror. Big, dark blue eyes set in a small, angelic face stared back at me. Blinking slowly I observed the gently sweeping movement of my now long eyelashes. Long blond hair tumbled down around me in soft curls, and moved with the slightest breath of air.

Picking at the revealing robes, I rolled my shoulders trying to adjust to having what appeared to be rather large breasts. Sighing deeply, I took a few minutes to practice smiling, laughing and looking carefree. I pulled my lips into various pouts, and practiced looking coyly up through my eyelashes. I worked at wrinkling my new button-nose in humor, while allowing my compelling eyes to sparkle with happiness.

A feminine sound of disgust spilled forth, I looked like a female clone of that dolt Lockhart. Flipping my hair over one shoulder I shoved my black robes into my bag and, exited my temporary shelter.

Upon stepping into the crowded pub, I was assaulted by cat calls and lewd suggestions. Smiling as sweetly as I could, I let loose a tinkling laugh before swiftly making for the door. I knew that this wasn't one of the places that Mundungus frequented; he preferred the run down places where you could contract a deadly disease just by looking at them.

Walking down the streets I kept the smile on my face as I slipped around people. My destination was the dirtiest and most scum-filled bar in the entire city. It was called Warthog Haven, which was quite appropriate. It was a small, inconspicuous place that was the center of most illegal activity in the Wizarding Underground.

Upon entering the dingy building, the first thing that hit me was the horrendous stench of vomit, alcohol, sex and drugs all mixed together. Many different kinds of people were there; I easily picked out some dwarves and a gnome. The corner was occupied by a vampire who was voraciously feeding on what appeared to be a serving wench, and in a nearby booth was an old hag. It took a supreme effort to not gag and act as though it didn't bother me. I came to places like this often to pick up information, I could never truly get used to it.

I spotted Mundungus right off, but I couldn't go running over to him for that would attract unneeded attention to me. Instead I approached the bar, and sank down onto one of the grimy stools, right next to a shady looking man. I ordered a strong drink from the skeletal looking bartender that I had to force myself to drink. I knew that the glass had probably never been washed since the time it had been bought, but to blend in I had to drink the repulsive swill.

When I was about halfway through the burning liquid, I felt something hook around my leg and start rubbing up and down it. Bile rose in my throat, as the possibility of rape crossed my mind. Reason overrode my fear; the man must think that I was a prostitute or something. Watching him out of the corner of my eye, I barely suppressed the urge to shudder violently. I could almost see the fleas hopping around on him, and I don't think there wasn't a disease he didn't have either on his skin and breath or in his saliva.

"Wha's a purty thing like ye doin 'ere?" he asked me a moment later after he had almost thoroughly molested my leg. "Why don' ye come wit me, I ken show ye a real good time." He leered at me as his foot climbed further up my leg.

"I thank you, but no," I returned tightly. "I am here on business, not pleasure." I literally peeled myself off the seat, and moved to the table where Mundungus was sitting alone. Every time I rested a foot on the floor, I had to wrench it up to be able to take the next step as the sole of my shoe became almost glued to the floor. Smoothly I pulled my flask from my bag and took a long draw from it. I couldn't have myself turn back just yet.

"Hello," I greeted as I slid into the booth across from my prey.

"'Low," he muttered, looking up at me blearily from over his drink. He was completely and totally pissed beyond belief. It was a miracle that he was still sitting up. "Who're you?"

"Just a customer," I reassured him. "I'm looking for a very specific piece of jewelry, and I thought you might have it."

"'Kay," he grunted, swirling his beverage around in the cup, sloshing most of it out and all over himself.

"It's a locket, a very special locket. It's rather large and silver with a very ornate "S" inscribed on it," I described the Horcrux to Mundungus who nodded listlessly.

"Sold that 'un long time ago," he dismissed. "Was a hunk 'o junk anyways. I got some 'uns tha' plenty nicer, would ya like to see 'em?" Sold? He had already sold it? To whom? Who would want to buy such a thing? Damn it! If only I had moved faster!

"No, but if you could please tell me who you sold it to, I would be forever grateful," I simpered at him.

"Dunno if I ken do tha', I mean, there's cus'omer con-confidentiality an all," he told me as he belched loudly. Gritting my teeth, I realized that even though he was thoroughly drunk, and would probably not remember me or this dealing, he would not give up anything without some money.

"How much will it cost me for you to give me a name?" I growled, and Mundungus paused to think.

"Hmmm, maybe a Sickle or two'll jar my mem'ry," he told me, and I pulled out three from my pouch. "Whelp, 'er name started wit a "C," tha's 'bout all I 'member." I handed over two Galleons. "Algranati, tha' waz 'er name. Can'ace Algranati."

"Candace Algranati?" I snapped at him, and he nodded back at me as he pocketed my money.

"If'n ya give me more, I ken even tell ya where she lives," he revealed and I declined. Standing up I gave the bartender some coins on my way out, a loud buzzing in my head. He had sold it to Candace.

Out in the bright sunlight again, I hurried back to the safety of that small bathroom, to change back into my normal self. I barely remembered to change into my old robes before the transformation began.

How was I supposed to get the Horcrux from her? Why did she have to have it? Shoving everything back into my bag I re-entered the common room of the pub and flooed back to my home.

Pettigrew was poking around the room when I came out of the fireplace. Anger rose in me, and I hit him with a few spells before shoving him back in to the hidden room where he was supposed to stay. He was too nosy for his own good, and it was getting on my nerves. Not to mention the fact that there was a real danger for me because I did actually did have something to hide. If he found about either Draco or I, we would be dead before the night was out.

Knowing that Draco wouldn't be back for a while, I retreated to my rooms. I didn't have the strength or want to deal with Pettigrew. He was scum that I longed to exterminate above all others. Many thought that I would want to kill Harry first because of my past, or the way I treat him, but in reality I know he is the only one who can rid this world of the Dark Lord. No matter how much I compared him to his father I knew that he really wasn't like James, because if he was, he wouldn't be friends with Longbottom or Lovegood. He had didn't have the same maliciousness in him that his father did, the need to prove himself strong and cool. If anything, all he wanted was to be normal.

"_Stop it! Just stop! It wasn't your fault! You had to do it!" _I could almost hear her talking to me, like on that night so long ago.

"I could have decided differently. I was too scared that He would find out what side I truly was on. And in that I made a grave error," I whispered, repeating what I had told her.

Lying down on my bed, I allowed my thoughts to wander back to a time when I hadn't known her that well. When she had still been just another foreign airhead.

"_No!" the short woman next to me howled. _

_Glancing down I recognized the tiny girl that I had encountered on the street and at the concert. She was wearing dark blue robes that swirled around her with her impatience, revealing the white pants and pale yellow tank top she had on underneath. Her arms were bare, which revealed multiple bruises in different stages of healing. Her light orange hair was pulled back into cornrows that ran down into a thick braid at the base of her neck. _

"_Ilsh fra domse!" she bellowed, slamming her fists down on the railing in front of her. Blushing bright red, she turned to me and apologized for her behavior._

"_I'm so sorry. It's just that I want my team to win; this is the first time that Brazil has made it to the World Cup in forever." She smiled at me; her eyes sparkling pools of light brown emotion._

"_I understand," I returned coolly, hoping that she wouldn't recognize me._

"_Oh my God! You're that man from the concert!" She exclaimed, it was almost as though she had picked the thought right from my mind, but that was impossible. I had my barriers up._

"_Yes," I stiffly answered and her grin widened even further. _

"_Oh! And Brazil loses the Quaffle!" the announcer yelled, causing the female to whip around and curse at the team. I was rather amazed at the imagination in her foul language. Most people just stuck to normal swearwords, but she went in depth to a level usually only Aurors were known for. That might explain the bruises. _

"_Candi, do watch your tongue," her friend hissed at her. Candi responded by merely sticking the aforementioned part out at her, before turning back to the game. _

_Moments later she was bouncing all over the place yelling out strategies, encouragement, insults and commentary. She toppled over many times, leading me to conclude that she couldn't possibly be an Auror because she was so clumsy. Not to mention the fact that she was so excitable. _

"_Go Jaguars! Oh come on!" Candi screamed; her hands were clenching the railing in front of her so hard that her knuckles turned white. "Kick the crap out of them! Give 'em what for!" _

_She began to bounce back and forth from the balls of her feet to her heels and back, most likely from the nervous energy building up within her. It was a spectacle that was quite entertaining to watch._

"_Knock him off his broom! No one cares if it's legal or not!" She was leaning over the railing now, as if she was trying to catch one of the players and rattle some sense into his head._

"_The Spaniards are in the lead," her dark haired friend commented._

"_Not for long!" Candi didn't even turn to look at her friend as she answered. She kept her eyes firmly locked on the game. "OH! You have _got _to be kidding me! He was right there! FOUL!" _

_Abruptly she flung her head back, one hand raised to the bridge of her nose as she continued to jiggle up and down. Neither of her friends seemed to think this was abnormal so I ignored it myself and continued to watch the game._

"_And the Jaguars' score!" the commentator bellowed, and the petite witch cursed at missing it, and jerked her head forward. She was continually swiping at her nose and tilting her head back at odd intervals. _

"_I swear if we lose this game...I'll murder you all in your sleep!" she shouted out the threat just as the Seeker for her team caught the Snitch, resulting in their winning. Smiling at the coincidence I stood up to leave, but was impeded by Candi whipping around and hugging me._

"_We won!" she hooted after she released me, and punched the air with a fist. A second later she toppled over, and her two friends and I bent over her to find her drenched in blood from her still bleeding nose, a huge grin plastered on her face._

"_Candi," the calm one muttered. "You need to stop working yourself up over little things. You know that you get nosebleeds very easily." _

"_She can't help it," the other chuckled. "She's a ditz by nature!"_

"_She's going to kill herself someday," the first grumbled._

"_Yeah, most likely."_

That was Candace Algranati. A bouncing ball of happiness and love. She was responsible for so many things that had happened in my life. The miniature catalyst that could have saved me.

"Snape?" Draco called from outside my rooms. Dragging myself back from my thoughts, I hauled my drained body off the bed and to the door. We needed to talk about his meeting and what our next steps would be.

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